'Twas the Night Before Boston...

'Twas the night before Boston, when all through the city,

Not a runner was sleeping, not even the most gritty;

The bib numbers were hung on the singlets with care,

In hopes that the finish line would soon be here;

The volunteers were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Meb and Shalane winning danced in their heads;

And mamma in her altitutde tent, and I in my ice bath,

Had just settled down from a taper nervous breakdown aftermath,

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bath to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Nearly pulled a hammy as I threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the still present snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But novice Joe and his skinny running rear.

With his poor wife as the timer,

I knew in a moment Joe was in it quite thick.

More rapid than eagles Joe tried to cram miles,

His wife whistled, and shouted, and called out his splits;

"Now, Joe! You've got to hit sub 6:00!

On, Boylston, on Hereford,  all the way down Comm Ave!

To the top of heartbreak hill! To the top of the wall!

Keep dashing, dash away, dash all the way!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

Surely Joe must know this cramming is quite mad.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the apartment below,

The whirring and stirring of pots and pans astew.

As I peered down through the heating grate,

I saw poor Mary and Molly with mouths agape.

They were stuffing themselves, from their heads to their feet

With everything from pasta to bread to fine meat!

A track bag of PowerBars and Gels they had taped to their backs,

And no carbohydrate did they lack.

Oh Mary  - oh Molly - what folly!

Carbo loading does not mean glycogen shock!

Their mouths were clenched tight,

Ther eyes wild with fright;

The marathon training articles they held tight in their clutches

And the training DVD's only further augmented their apprehensions;

They had done all the miles

All that was left was a 26.2 trial.

They were pacing and fretting, a total mess,

And I laughed when I saw them, in spite of myself;

I called down below it was all in their head,

They were fully prepared and had nothing to dread;

I spoke not another word, and went straight back to my task,

And decided to take another ice bath;

And laying my flats under my pillow,

I told myself,  I'm relaxed, I'm not like Joe;

In the morning I sprang to my car, gave the family a yell,

And away they all ran, collectively cheering the end of my training he**,

And I heard them exclaim as I drove out of sight

"SHE'S CRAZY AS A LOON, BETTER HOPE SHE GETS THIS BOSTON RIGHT SO WE DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ALL THIS AGAIN SOON!"