Why do you run?

It seems as though the U.S. is experiencing a second "running boom".  Is it the advent of adventure races, color runs, and Spartan races?  Or is it because so many people want to "do something" after Boston 2013 - experience what it is like to be a runner? Whatever the reason, races are selling out well in advance of race day,  everybody wants to qualify for Boston, and running is suddenly something for everyone of every ability to try out and enjoy. (Whatever your opinion on all the new-fangled races, I say anything to get people up and out the door is a good thing!)

When I first started running - gulp - 25 years ago this year - there weren't many races, and the concept of color, bubble, or adventure races wasn't even a twinkle in anybody's eye.  Some of my friends ran to get in shape for other sports; others ran to lose the proverbial "freshman 15".  I was certainly the farthest thing from a runner.  I had been playing basketball since I could walk, and that was my all-consuming passion.

I went to college to play basketball.  However, as we all learn sooner or later, sometimes our dreams don't quite catch up with reality, and I was simply too small nor did I have the skills to make it at the college level.

If you asked me at age 18 to define myself, I was, and always had been a "student athlete".  The phone call home to my parents that I had quit playing basketball was answered with "Molloys don't quit".  I had never quit anything in my life, and I felt like the ultimate failure.

Failure was my demon and haunted me day and night.  To quell the demon, I decided I would try out for  Cross Country my sophomore year. (The fact that I was trying to impress a certain male runner didn't hurt the decision making process....hey, the logic of a teenager is sometimes hazy.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.....)

Our first Cross Country race was an invitational that included some Division 1 teams.  I had been training for 10 days. (apparently I thought that was all you needed to become a leader of the pack runner) My coach advised me to tuck in the middle somewhere, and try to run with some of the Seniors on our team.

I led.

A mile into the race, I think my legs had literally turned to stone with lactic acid buld up. I could taste blood in my mouth, and my lungs were simply on fire.   I had never felt that sort of pain in any other sport before. (Perhaps leading was not one of my brighter ideas....) I begrudgingly made it to the finish line (definitely not in the lead), vowing I would never, ever, ever run again.  I handed my singlet to my Coach, and told him I quit.  Get ready to bring the demons back....

He smiled and said he would see me tomorrow at practice.

I loathed this sport like I loathed nothing else before.  Yet, deep down in places I wouldn't admit to myself yet, I secretly loved that pain.  It was exhilirating.  There was nothing quite like pushing yourself to the brink of exhaustion, and then pushing through.  Could I grapple daily with that pain? Did I want to?

I returned at 6 am the next morning for the first workout of the day, then again at 3 pm for the second.  I despised every deliriously wonderful painful second of it.

Running is a relationship.  It is intimate, physical, and complicated.  It will break your heart more times than not.  Every time I talk to a new runner, I am always curious as to why they want to run.  Why put yourself through that?

Why do I run? 25 years later, I don't have the complete answer.  Running has provided me with more than I could ask of any relationship:  career opportunities, friendships, challenges, triumphs...the list goes on and on.   It has also broken my heart in a way that only something you embrace with your entire heart, soul, and body can.  (I ran 4 marathons in 7 months trying to make the Olympic Trials and came up short. Yeah. Major, major heart break).

Running to me has always been about pushing your body to the brink, and no, I have never thought it was easy or fun.  (big asterisk here: except for running while pregnant which I only run for fun and don't train). Perhaps I'm doing it all wrong.  I love runners, the community of running, the mere thought of running, but I loathe the act of running.  And that is why I love it.  For the glimmer of a fraction of a second when your spirit transcends your body and you accomplish the impossible. It is a glimpse of the ethereal realm, and the demons fly.

So when you talk to your co-worker, neighbor or friend who is signing up for their first 5k, give them an extra word of encouragement, and let them know it will get easier.  Running is not for the faint of heart, but the rewards are unmatched.

Why do you run?